I have always been fascinated by them… it is your own little niche where you can look out at a world you know so well and still be perfectly lost, wonderfully alone. Far away. Someday I will have my window seat.

Though currently, there is no happier maiden than the day dreaming, starry-eyed, half smiling one sitting here, window seat or not.

I have fallen ever so thoroughly in love.

Deeply, beautifully, for life…

There… you are updated.  I may come back in awhile, but for now, if I don’t…know that I am so happy.

]]> http://ringsaroundmyfingers9.wordpress.com/2011/07/19/for-life/feed/ 0 ringsaroundmyfingers9 love http://ringsaroundmyfingers9.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/just-a-new-place/ http://ringsaroundmyfingers9.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/just-a-new-place/#comments Wed, 01 Jun 2011 01:01:35 +0000 ringsaroundmyfingers9 http://ringsaroundmyfingers9.wordpress.com/?p=456 ]]> So today I am writing from the rooftop.

My window happens to be perfectly situated about three feet above the slant that is our kitchen roof. This provides the perfect escape for times like tonight, when I need to pretend I am somewhere else. Nothing dramatic. Nothing desperate.  Just a new place.

There is a storm rolling in. I can smell it and feel it, and the wind whispers its thick heavy scent, perusing my shoulders and hair.

I do love a good storm.

when a storm comes in, I feel at home no matter where I am. I feel a common longing for freedom, to let loose the aches and pains of broken things in a wild tempestuous unleashing, in a deep, releasing roll of thunder that loosens your lungs and grips your heart.

So today I am writing from the rooftop.

You know.

Madonna.  Dolce & Gabbana.

This morning was spent on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom floors, after I made everyone breakfast, and wiped some snotty noses, and burped a baby. Okay not quite but, pretty close. And honest to goodness…I love washing floors. I tie my hair back with a bandanna like a loving little wife, daydream about my own dear someday house, and my own darling someday husband.

In other news, yes I am still here contrary to popular belief (also just the fact that I haven’t posted in…a long time). I start my new job today, in a little lunch cafe/soda shop full to the brim with nostalgia. Ice cream cherry sodas, banana splits, grilled ham and cheese, 40 year old chocolate malt recipes…and customers who have been coming in every day for lunch since 1960. I am determined to charm and dazzle them all, you just wait and see.

And I desperately hope to witness at least one moment like this:

That is my new-job goal.

Have a lovely day.

-G

And I have found my new spot.

http://www.unioncoffeehouse.com/

This is a five-minute walk…from my bedroom.

okay maybe like an 8 minute walk from my bedroom, but 5 minutes from my house.  do you all realize how dangerous this is? I’ve already incorporated it into my morning running route. Figured in the time it opens, how exactly to fit it directly into my schedule.  There are live bands every saturday night at 8pm.

Best of all?

They make one killer white chocolate mocha.

I’m sold.

It is entirely possible that I have five tabs open, three of which are dedicated to looking up synonyms of ‘Tragedy’.

I wouldn’t lie about this.

But nothing tastes quite as good as the word itself.

My twentieth birthday was yesterday. It was the worst birthday I’ve ever had (and I’ve had twenty of them). I would use three words to describe it: Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Should have looked up the synonyms of that one hey? But you know what, its okay. It was only a day and its over now.

The REAL tragedy occurred when the realization hit that I left my easter basket at home.

Also when finals week started.

..on my birthday.

In any case, this is the week from hell, and once its over I may experience the return of some sanity, and maybe the departure of whatever gremlin is currently residing in the muscles of my neck.

Get over the hashtag.

Get over the charlie sheen.

You will just have to agree with me once you hear my day so far.

Firstly I pulled an all nighter in which I wrote a siiiiick paper, a solid medium length right between the minimum and maximum page number. Killed that sucka DEAD (I’m allowed some slang, I’ve been eloquent all night). So my 8am class rolls around (still no sleep) and SURPRISE! we have an exam today. Great. I aced it. Found out I aced the other two exams as well, and don’t have to take the final.  THEN, my 9:30 professor opted to not show for class today, which gave me just enough time to grab a 20 minute nap, pick up coffee and put the ultimate finishing touches on my previously written paper, which I just turned in, and during which class I am now writing this post.

Mmm, YUP. Things have been gloomy enough lately that all of this typically not very exciting day-to-day grind is

SUPER THRILLING.

also.

Tomorrow is the last day of class before finals week. Deep Breath.

#herewego

again dearlings….get over yourselves. give iinnn to the #hashtaagsss

This is all I have available to say:

I recently decided to carry a to-do list with me at all times.  This is to put in place a plan of action that will make me more organized, more time efficient, more productive, and less stressed.

It hasn’t worked.

I’ve started writing things on my list that are already done simply so I can have the satisfaction of crossing them off. It’s not helping.

Boredom and stress are reigning in my life, which is a combination that produces recklessness in abundance. Hence: Tonight I am leaving for lansing, MI.

(and have possibly pulled at least 5 all-nighters in the last 9 days)

One time I dated a street racer.

I was bored and stressed.

Business taken care of, let’s move on.

I’m currently skipping a class which I had no intention of skipping, but it has been one of those mornings where my whims are irresistible, and upon walking into class and setting my books down in my regular seat at my regular table, I decided I was very much against attending class today, and being regular.

Don’t you ever get EXHAUSTED by regular? Gosh I do. I need movement and wonder and captivation. There is simply none of these things present today in my college level math class. Hence: class skipped. I want something bigger and brighter than going to class every day, I want something more brilliant and attractive than two more years of college life. I am beginning to be restless here. I am a gypsy, and my wander-lust is growing, my heart is searching again.

I went to lunch with a friend on wednesday: timothy lee. He is full of wit and awareness and has never once failed to make my sides ache with laughter. We haven’t gotten together since june of last year, but I realized that he is one of those friends. It just doesn’t matter how long its been, you will always have an instant smile, an easy connection.

Everyone, everyone, has been brought into my life for a purpose. Think of that next time you start to take your relationships lightly, the next time you mistreat your fellow man, the next time you write someone off. That person crossed your path for a reason, how will they come away marked from your existence? This view may either become a unbearably heavy burden, or an unparalleled, joy-filled privilege.

I am going home tomorrow. Home home. Out for tea with the  boys tonight, relaxing evening with dear friends, then on the road by 7am tomorrow (hopefully).  Steady stream of caffeine and taking up permanent residence in the gym has gotten me through this week, now if I can just catch a Lake Superior sunrise this weekend…

ever love,

g.l.h.

Iced white chocolate mocha.

Sketchbook.

Big ideas.

Slipping dreams.

Losing hope.

Recently I have been trying to digest. I experienced something that would typically never take place in the life of  ’someone like me’. I saw one of humanity’s ugliest slants of the many faceted, sharply cut diamond that is this world. I am not a woman who puts down men. The wonderful role, privilege of being a woman is that I am able to be an encourager, I can build up the man in my life and support him, respect him, love him. And if boundaries are observed, I am able to treat all the men in my life this way, all my dear friends and brothers. But in this circumstance…”man” is not even a title he is deserving of.

He is a hideous stain on the existence of man as a whole, and I have not the words to express the level of intense emotional feeling I have towards him.

I am on fire with the indignity, I am seething passion from every pore.

Nameless demon, I don’t blame the women who will spend their lives hating you.

So today,

I am losing hope.

Forgive me. But if you’d rather not have a glimpse of my insides, I suggest you find another blog to read.

g.l.h.